Chrissie,

I know you might find it weird that I'm writing to you since I usually don't write at all, and if I do, it's only because it's absolutely necessary or I'm dying of boredom (and in this case, it's not because of that). Well, I don't really know how I'm going to say what I need to say, so I'm just going to come right out and tell you. I'm going to die tomorrow; this day is my last here on earth. Yeah. Weird, isn't it? I know this must come as a shock to you, and I'm sorry I have to say this in such a direct way, but I really can't think of any other way to let you know about this.

First of all, I want to say thank you for absolutely everything. Thanks for being the great listener that you are and thank you for being, not only a great sister, but also my best friend. Thanks for being the older sister sometimes (okay, most of the time), when you offer me advice and a shoulder to cry on. Thanks for also entrusting in me everything that goes on with you and thank you for making me an important part of your life. Thanks for all the fun times and memories. I've really shared most of my treasured moments in life with you, and I'm grateful that I always had you around not matter what.

I'm sorry for those times I release all my stress and anger on you. I'm sorry for taking you presence for granted. I'm sorry for not always being there for you the way you're always there for me. And I'm also sorry for sometimes forgetting to place you at the top of my priorities, where you really should be. I know that sometimes, I can be a really weird, pms-ing freak, and I thank you for always having to put up with that.

By the way, could you also take care of all my funeral stuff? All the songs I want played are already in that playlist the two of us made ages ago. I also want a lot of bright flowers (most especially sunflowers), and please do me the favor of making sure that everyone will be wearing bright, happy colors. I know that you're more of a black person, but please just do this special favor and wear a nice color like baby blue or yellow. Consider it a last request. Please also say bye to everyone for me (especially mom, dad, lola and Sabrina. Please make sure they're taken good care of and make sure that I love them very, very much). Also, I'm sure you know all my friends and everyone I'm close to. I don't really have much time to name all here, but I know you know who to say what to.

Another thing, please try not to cry. Please try to make everything as cheery as you possibly can. As we've talked about before, death isn't something to be afraid of. Death is something to embrace, and I am embracing it with all that I've got. I'm ready to let go and let God take care of me.

Chris, I never really got to tell or show you how important you really are to me, maybe because I always knew you'd be there, and so far, you haven't let me down. But I just have to say now that I love you so much. My life would have never been complete without you in it. No one will ever mean as much to me as you do.

Bye.

Ate :) 4:26 PM